When Life Hands You Blades
by nanayoung
Summary: In which Archer tries to make the best out of a bad situation. Until he manages to break the contract he will have to make do, and save the ones he can.


**Prologue**

Archer wasn't quite sure what to do anymore.

The former Servant stared down at his Reality Marble from his perch on his hill of swords, lost in thought. It had been only a few days since he said goodbye to Tohsaka. Or at least, it seemed like it. It was easy for him to get lost in his own little world, easy for him to forget the passage of time. Not that time had any real meaning for one such as him.

He was still stuck as a Counter Guardian. From what he could tell, there was no end in sight. He would not be able to kill his past self and create a paradox. He would not be able to erase himself from existence. He would be stuck cleaning up after humanity's messes, slaughtering untold thousands, until Alaya's end. Or until Alaya ended him. Which ever came first.

Surprisingly, the thought no longer bothered him like it used to.

Maybe he was finally resigned to it. Or maybe he was coming in terms with his own mistakes. After all, it had been his choice to make the deal. His choice to serve under Alaya after death. Even during his worst moments, when the self loathing and despair seemed to swallow him whole, he only ever blamed himself.

It had been his own ignorance that caused his downfall. His own idealism, something that he thought he ripped out of himself a long time ago.

Archer bitterly smiled up at the gears in the sky. _Apparently not._

No, he had no one to blame but himself. Alaya, despite her need to protect humanity, was not human. Did not understand how humans thought or felt. Her only concern was the continued survival of the human race. Nothing more, nothing less. To be so arrogant as to think she would put his ideals and feelings above humanity's survival was laughable.

Alaya did not need a protector. She needed an executioner. Someone who would be willing to do whatever it took to eliminate everything that could possibly destroy humanity. Someone with the power and the skill to cut down all that apposed them.

Archer supposed he should feel honored for being accepted. After all, he was helping people. Just not in the way he had envisioned it.

For the longest time he had hated it. Now...

...now he had accepted it.

You cannot save everyone. It was something that he had thought he had come in terms with. The ability to save everyone, bring everyone happiness, was a fool's dream. And yet, Archer had still held onto that ideal when he made that contract. Held onto the hope that maybe, just maybe, he would be able to save them all.

 _Foolish._

Emiya Shirou, the one he fought not too long ago, was willing to strive for that ideal, even though he knew how hopeless it was. It was a level of dedication and stubbornness that Archer admired. It reminded him of... well, himself.

But Archer was not Emiya Shirou. He hadn't been for along time.

To strive to save everyone would be striving towards failure and hopelessness. It would only leave him with more bitterness and despair than what he started with.

He could not save everyone. That was a fact.

But that didn't mean he couldn't save the ones within his reach. It id not mean that he couldn't protect the ones who needed him, when they came to him for help.

To strive to save everyone was a fool's dream. But to help those in need? To do his best to save those he could help? That was something he could do.

For the moment, he was stuck.

He was stuck. Stuck in a contract that made him slaughter thousands to save millions. He could not save the thousands of innocents who fell to his hands. Could not save the thousands that would no doubt fall to him in the future. But he could save the millions who depended on him to hunt down the threats to their survival. Could save the millions who needed his help in order for their world to continue on.

And until he eventually found a way out of this contract, that would have to be enough.

* * *

 **God, I've been on such a Fat/Stay Night binge right now. Can you tell which is my favorite character? Spoilers: Its Archer. He is very, very GAR.**

 **So, tell me what you think. Flames are totally okay, as long as you give me a reason why you hate it. I'm not as familiar with Fate/Stay Night as I would like, so I want to nip any mistakes I make in the bud.**


End file.
